Christmas is a magical time of year, not just for the decorations and holiday cheer, but for the deeper reasons that resonate with Christians who celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and God’s steadfast love for His people.
Nearly 90% of adults gather with family during the holiday season, making it an ideal time to begin the process of discussing your goals and wishes for the future. When families are together in the same room, big talks can take on a more intimate and personal feel. Emotions that families feel when they are together can be difficult to recreate on a conference call.1
So, if you are thinking about starting a holiday tradition of a family meeting, here are a couple of tips to keep in mind.2
Who should attend a family meeting? “Everyone” is not the correct answer. Who should attend should reflect the goals of the meeting. If it’s a first-time meeting, you may want to limit attendance to immediate family members, excluding children if you believe it might be difficult for them to sit through the event. Many families also grapple with the question of inviting spouses. In some instances, it might make sense for biological family members to meet first to decide how to share information more broadly.
“Commit to become the husband/wife, father/mother, son/daughter, brother/sister or grandparent that God has called each of us to be,” writes author Mick Owens in his popular personal finance book, Diamond of Life, The Five P’s of Success and Significance.
When should we hold the meeting? A variety of factors should be considered. If it’s a first-time meeting, it may be best to schedule a couple of working sessions to cover all aspects of the family finances. Follow-up meetings can be more focused. One word of caution: People often overestimate how much can get absorbed in one sitting.
Where should we hold the meeting? In our experience, the best family meetings are treated like special events. Gathering at a neutral location, such as a rented home or vacation spot, can send a message about the importance of the event. Holding a family meeting at parental homes may encourage family members to fall back into old patterns of behavior, which may not be ideal.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
Should we set ground rules? Yes. 100%. For example, start by asking everyone to turn off electronics and be present. For parents, perhaps the most important ground rule is to be patient and listen. It’s likely that not all concerns will be resolved at the meeting, so it’s best to prepare for how to handle follow-up issues.
When we help coordinate a family meeting, the first question we will help you answer is: “What is the goal of the meeting?” That answer will help determine what supporting materials need to be prepared, and if other professionals need to attend the meeting. We can also help you create an agenda, structure how to respond to follow up items, and offer some insights about what locations to consider.
Family meetings should be a celebration, not something that you should approach with anxiety. With some thoughtful preparation you might be surprised at the outcome!
- PewResearch.com, February 18, 2023
- UBS.com, 2024
